Burke Hedges Speaks

Welcome back to another edition of the Monday Minute.

Last week I started a 2 part series on the “psychology of winning”. 

I brought up the fact that while so many of us have a strong
desire to win in our business, we make subconscious choices
that actually keep us from winning.

On the inside we win because we’ve avoided getting out of our
comfort zones or by having everyone like us.  But on the outside,
we’re not winning…and it’s frustrating!

Today I want to share 3 more tips with you about ways that you
might be sabotaging yourself by “winning”.

3)  You try to win by always being right.

Maybe you’re an expert in a specified area like a doctor or lawyer. 
Perhaps you’ve gotten a lot of training on your product.  Maybe
you’ve been in this industry for a long time and you feel like
you already know it all.

When you focus on being right, you become close minded to new ideas.

How can you tell if you’re someone who tries to win by always being right?
- When you argue with your spouse, do you always have to have the last word?
- Is it possible for you to smile and keep your mouth shut, even when
  you’re sure you’re right, and not say anything?
- If someone in your downline has an idea they’d like to try for generating
  new leads for their business, do you immediately tell them everything
  that’s wrong with it?
- Do you critique every leader in your company?

Focusing on always being right will put you on the fast track for hitting
the glass ceiling when it comes to your relationships, money, and business. 

Instead of trying to be right all the time, focus your energy on building
relationships and making money. 

4) You can win by winning!

If this is you, then you’re an achiever whose primary focus is to win!
Perhaps you’re very competitive, and will do whatever it takes to win. 
You refuse to yield, and will always stay the course. 

Mark Twain said it best; “If you want to be successful, find out where
the successful are heading and get their first”!

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If your constant focus is on winning, make sure you don’t compromise
your integrity to “win”. Be honest in your business and with your team. 
Don’t fudge the numbers to impress a prospect.  Don’t lie about your
commission check.  Don’t hype up your accomplishments.  Being focused
on winning is great, just make sure you do it with integrity. 
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5) The final way you can win is by losing.

I know this sounds weird…but just stay with me.  Some people, whether
they’ll admit it or not, win in their lives by choosing to be a victim.
They want sympathy from others and declare within that it is not
possible to win.  They believe the odds are stacked against them. 

Out of all the ways to sabotage yourself from truly winning in your
business, I think this way is the most common. 

How can you tell if you’re winning by losing? 

- Is your life constantly filled with problems and bad circumstances?
- Do you find yourself saying, “I don’t have the money” or “I think
  I will give it a try”?
- Do you blame others for your lack of success?  If only my upline
  would help me…If only my spouse would support me…If only I didn’t
  have such a stressful job…and so on?

I’d like to challenge you today to take a long hard look at your life.

There are people who are not wealthy because they want to be comfortable.
There are people who are not healthy because they want to be comfortable.
There are many people who are stuck in the same job because they want
to be liked. As well there are people who are “addicted” to struggle
because they win by losing.

If you’re like me, you might see a little of yourself in each of the
ways I just described. The most important thing to remember about
winning is that it’s a continuous process. 

Once you get inspired by a new goal, your whole focus goes back to
“winning”.  Whether it’s a promotion in your pay plan, a certain
number of sales you want to make, or taking that trip you’ve
always wanted. 

Successful entrepreneurs win by winning.  Period.

Hello again & welcome back to another edition of the Monday
Minute.  I always enjoy bringing you my personal tips, tricks and
success strategies that have made the direct selling business so
enjoyable for me.  I hope you get as much out of these newsletters
as I do!

Over the next couple of weeks I’m going to bring you a 2 part
series on the “psychology” of winning.  Really, it’s just my personal
take on the subject - but an important one if you plan on building
your networking business for the long haul.

So, what is winning to you?  Can you define what it would mean in
your life to win?  What would that look like for you?

Surprisingly, many people don’t really know.  Often, they just
have a vague idea of what winning would me - more money, being able
to quit their job, going on vacations…that sort of stuff. 

But at the heart of things, if you don’t know the definition of
“winning” in your life - if you don’t have a really clear picture of
what that means, then how can you ever be a winner in your network
marketing business?

Most people think of winning as achieving some sort of goal.  They’ve
“arrived” and reached the top.  Would it surprise you to know that
there are actually other ways of “winning” that have nothing to do
with being successful?

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Our minds can sometimes play tricks on us.  We want to win.  We
desire to be a top income earner.  We long for success.  And yet,
our actions don’t seem to match up to those desires.  We sabotage
ourselves.  Our conscious minds want to achieve at the highest
levels…but our subconscious minds are usually very happy to just
stay where we are, in our comfort zones.
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To that “inner mind”, our subconscious, winning often means something
very different. 

I want to share with you some of the ways that people “win”.  My hope
is that you will discover some things about your current thought patterns
that might be keeping you from really winning in your business. 

1)  Sometimes, you win by being comfortable. 

Whether we want to admit it or not, sometimes our primary goal is to
go through life as comfortably as possible.  Maybe you don’t function
well under pressure. Perhaps you freeze up if you’re pushed or challenged.

Do you always try to avoid conflict?  When we do this, we’re saying
we’d rather go through life on cruise control.

What are some ways you can “win” by staying in your comfort zone?
- By watching a great reality show on TV instead of making phone
      calls to your warm list
- By making the excuse that you’re just too tired from work and
      can’t make it to the meeting this week
- By not stepping up as the leader of your team in favor of deferring
      all the training and support to someone else
- By avoiding both calling people and answering the phone
- By hiding out behind your computer screen

When we do these things, we’re designing out lives to support the pursuit
of our comfort.  We say we want to “win”, but our actions speak differently. 

We’re still winning…just at the wrong thing.

2) Another way you can win is by trying to be liked.

Is your primary goal to be liked by others?  Do you desire to be popular
and accepted by everyone?  If you get an angry phone call or email
from someone on your team, does it upset you to the point where you
stew about it for days?

So many times we “win” by trying to be liked, rather than taking a
risk of being wrong.

As a leader in your business, this is a dangerous place to be. 

You’re less willing to make hard core decisions for fear of upsetting
someone. You’re afraid to fail and try to please everyone all the time.

Everyone wants to be liked, but if you’re motivated by being liked
by others and are constantly seeking approval from your team, it’s
going to be impossible for you to move ahead.

That’s all for this week.  Join me again next Monday & I’ll give
you 3 more ways you lose by trying to win!

Make it a great week!

Just about every network marketing company has developed their
own training systems and methods for building the business.
Everything from learning about the products to prospecting and
recruiting people into your downline.  All this is usually
covered by a series of trainings or a “system” that’s easy
to understand and follow.

However, if you’ve recruited more than few people into your
organization, you know for a fact that sooner or later you
come across someone who thinks they know better.  Maybe that
someone is you!

You know, the two most common statements made by people who
come into the business and then aren’t as successful as they
think they should be are, “I don’t do it that way” quickly
followed by “The system doesn’t work.”

Of course, these statements fail to take into account the many
successful people who are doing it “that way” and using the system. 

We all want the people on our team to be successful.  After all,
a successful team means that your business is growing which
translates into money for everyone.

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But how do you handle those people who just refuse to follow the
system, re-invent the wheel, and do everything outside the box? 
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You know this person wants to be successful and you’re passionate
about their success as well.  You know they’ll only have success
if they follow the system. 

So, here are a couple of ways to address it:

>> First, the “I don’t do it that way” complaint. This can also
mean, “I won’t do that” or “I would never be able to do that”. 
You’ll often hear this statement when you begin coaching a new
teammate on how to make phone calls to prospects.

Start off by having your teammate think about his/her success
up to this point in any company. What worked?  What didn’t work? 
Did they follow a set series of steps? 

Ask them what part of the current system would they don’t like
and would do differently?  Find out why there is opposition and
see if you can come to a compromise.  Often, someone is simply
opposed to the way something is said.  For example, they don’t
like the prospecting script because it makes them feel uncomfortable. 
So, see if you can compromise on the wording a little and let them
try doing things their way.  After all, you really can’t stop them.
And when their way doesn’t work, they’ll be back.

>> The second complaint, “The system doesn’t work,” can be a little
   more complex. 

First, you need to do some careful questioning to see if the person
is using the system correctly.  Sometimes it is just a matter of
retraining or changing something.

More often, however, the system isn’t working because the person
really isn’t plugged in and following it.  They’re varying it a
little bit here or there.  Instead of calling their prospect, they’re
emailing or texting instead.  That sort of thing.

Maybe you’ll discover that they don’t even totally understand the
system because they haven’t been attending training calls or other
training opportunities.  Find out why and get a commitment from
them to begin taking action in their business.  By not getting proper
training, they’re setting themselves up for failure.

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You know, there will always people that expect something for
nothing.  They look at this business like a lottery ticket.  They
get started on Friday and if the money truck doesn’t show up by
Saturday morning with their buckets of cash, they call you and
complain that the “system isn’t working”.  That’s okay.
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One thing you should always remember is that the teammates that
refuse to plug-in and use a proven system are really not an asset
to you.  They can take up a tremendous amount of your time and
energy. Sometimes you’re better off if they leave the business
sooner rather than later. We’ve all had experiences with a
teammate that constantly complained, but never worked.  It’s
exhausting.

Be firm in your belief that the system can work for anyone that
is willing to do the work and you will keep the people that you
really want in your organization and weed out the others.

Make it a great week!

You’ve probably heard this analogy before:  Starting a business
is a lot like getting married.

If you’re married, or have been, then I’m sure you can think back
to the time leading up to your marriage - your “courtship”-  and
see several thing that are similar between the start of a marriage
and the start of a business.

1)  Attraction   

They call it “chemistry”.  That initial attraction to someone.  And
behind the initial “chemistry” are other thing like your dreams,
emotions and values.  Just as we are attracted to one person instead
of another, we’re also attracted to a business that appeals to our
dreams, moves us in some way and plugs into what we find important
in life.

2)  After Attraction

Soon, we begin to spend time getting to know the other person.  It’s
here where we discover whether or not that attraction will stick.
We talk to this person about our dreams - the way we want to live,
what size family we want, what our faith is and other ideas and
desire we have about our future.

We discover if there is an emotional connection between us and
the other person.  How do we feel with them?  Do we stir up
feelings in each other that go beyond that initial attraction? 

We talk about our values-what do we think is important about a
marriage and a family, about religion, what we want to accomplish
in life and what matters most to us at the end of the day.    

So many of the things we do in a relationship have a parallel to
starting a new business.  And it’s vitally important to think
about and discuss these issues when we first get going in our
business:

>> What are our dreams (or vision) about the business?
>> Does the work we’re doing move us in some way?
>> Does it have emotional appeal that will last?
>> Am I really passionate about this or am I just in it for the money?

I know for many of us, the initial decision to get started in
our network marketing business was for the money.  But over
time, once the “money part” is taken care of, your desires and
goals should switch a bit to other things like your belief in
the product, or your passion about helping others make an income
from home, or seeing people’s lives change.

It’s about having a emotional purpose & being moved by what you’re
taking part in. Ask yourself the following questions:

>> Does this business have emotional meaning to me?
>> Will it touch the hearts of people who I share it with?  
>> How can I get that message across to prospects and team members? 

Your prospects and teammates are searching for that deeper meaning. 
It’s a cause, a mission, that will keep the day-to-day work from
getting hollow.

So, what does this mean to you?

I encourage you to pay attention to planning and reinforcing a strong
vision for your business.  Make certain that your core values - those
things that are most important to you in life - are tied to your work. 

If you’re a leader, and one of your core values is family, and you
constantly “preach” how important your family is to you - then make
sure that value lines up with your actions.  Don’t say your family is
#1 if you’re always gone, always on your cell phone, always running
around like a crazy person. 

Be busy and get the job done - yes.  But make sure you take the time
for the things in your life that you say are important. 

What will guide you for the long term in your business is not just
how good you get at it.  It’s the connection to it, the bigger
picture and the dream we hold onto that makes us happy as a person. 

If you discover this about yourself and can share it with others,
it will set your business up for long-term success.

I’ll see you next week!

>> “A task without a vision is drudgery; a vision without a task is
a dream. A vision and a task are the hope of the world.” <<    

Having a strong vision for your business and life is not only a
look into the future, but also a constant reference point for
you to line yourself up with.  Your vision is your point of
reference. 

All of us can see in our mind’s eye what we want to be and do
in our life.  Then, it’s up to us to find a way to realize that
vision. We can put our imagination to work.  For some of us,
we systematically plan out the steps needed to achieve our
vision.  And others might trust their gut and move forward
more instinctively.

Your personal vision includes your business, career, family
and lifestyle. What do you see for yourself in your business? 
What kind of success do you envision?  How about your family
life?  What do you envision a happy and fun family life to be
like?

Starting a new business is the most important time to start
thinking about your personal vision for your life.  It’s the
time when your enthusiasm is at its highest and your idea of
what you want to accomplish is clear and strong.  This is why
we always tell new distributors to “write down your why”. 

It’s that important.

So, what are some of the consequences of not having a strong
vision for your life and business?  What happens when you
live your life not really caring one way or the other? 

Often, you feel as though your work has no meaning.  There is
no underlying sense of purpose. The effort you put in is only
a means to something else and is not gratifying in and of itself. 
It just pays the bills…but beyond that, there’s nothing else in
it for you.

The strength of your vision will give you a solid sense of
direction and bring meaning into your life.  It’s your purpose. 
Something to be returned to, over and over again, to check your
bearings and sense of commitment. 

Have you ever heard the statement, “Your why has to make you cry”? 

It’s true that you’ve got to be passionate about your vision. 
When you feel so strongly about your reason “why” it becomes
infectious.  Others around you begin to feel it.  They become
more passionate about their business because they see how
passionate you are.  Your vision rubs off and can carry your
team through good times and bad, building a sense of commitment,
passion and spirit.

Becoming a great leader means that you’re the carrier of that
vision.  You tell the story that reinforces the dream.  You
inspire others as you point the way.  It all starts with you
and your personal vision for yourself, your life, and your future. 

Let that vision jump-start your business and guide you.  Then,
share your vision with everyone around you.  Your team, your
prospects, your family.  Become so passionate about it that
it becomes infectious…and watch your business grow.

Make it a great week!